Top 10 Reasons NOT to Enroll in Windsor Mountain Summer Camp
1. It will make me think of warm summer days, and I don’t like summer. I like polar vortexes.
2. I do not want my child receive a new acoustic guitar or North Face backpack, blanket, hat and mug (enroll in Session 1 or 2 through January 19). (Mini-Session enrollments receive ukulele or blanket, hat and mug)
3. I am stuck in political-retribution traffic.
4. Though I really like my child, I would prefer not to give him/her great experiences in life.
5. I am not a fan of good karma.
6. The absurd variety and excellentness of the activities offered at Windsor Mountain are too fun. Fun is for people who want happiness. I do not want to be happy.
7. Children should be neither seen nor heard, so no camp for you!
8. Why would I ever want my child to gain more independence and self-confidence, make great friends, learn new skills or grow as a person? These things are silly and unimportant.
9. I am trapped under something heavy.
10. I would prefer if my child plays more video games and has more screen time in the summer. Being outdoors and enjoying nature is for animals.